What Each Enneagram Types Desperately Wants to Hear About Themselves (3/3) – Type 5, Type 6 and Type 7

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What Each Enneagram Types Desperately Wants to Hear About Themselves (3/3) – Type 5, Type 6 and Type 7

We started this series by looking at the specific messages the gut-centered Type 1s, 8s and 9s want to hear about themselves.

Then, we continued on with the heart-centered Type 2, 3 and 4s.

We round up this series by looking the specific messages the head-centered Type 5s, 6s and 7s want to hear about themselves.

Let’s get right into it!

Type 5s

Message They Want To Hear:

“You can express your needs comfortably beyond your private world”

The unconscious message a young Type 5 may have received could have been “Your needs are too much for me”.

This is when the Type 5 learns that withdrawing from the world and connecting with their inner thoughts and feelings is far less emotionally draining. They deny the expression of themselves because they think to themselves, “No one will hear me anyway”.

To the Type 5s who are reading this, your needs matter. Expressing them to the people around you (in a healthy way) allows them to be there for you in a way that people in the past may not have been. Be comfortable in expressing yourself to the people closest to you, you may be pleasantly surprised that they appreciate you for reaching out in the first place.

Type 6s

Message They Want To Hear:

“You can have faith and trust yourself”

Type 6s often view the world as a dangerous place and as a young 6, you may have learnt that when you do not plan with contingencies, you fall short and make mistakes. Then, it is made worse when the people around you tell you that you had let them down because of those mistakes.

That may be why you often look outwards to authority figures to guide you because you struggle to trust your own instincts. But you also quickly realise that even the most experienced of them all will make mistakes from time to time.

Type 6s, I invite you to read this with an open heart – Your gifts of preparation and contingency planning have given you more wisdom than you realise. Learn to trust yourself and disconnect from all other competing voices in your mind that whispers doubts into your mind.

Type 7s

Message They Want To Hear:

“Your feelings are not a burden”

Type 7s often feel responsible to be the one who brings joy to everyone else at the expense of their own hurts and pains.

You may have been told at a young age that you need to be the perpetual ‘happy pill’ of the family and so in order to cope with that heavy burden, you learn to distract yourself from your own pain by depending on activities and trends, instead of people.

I would like to tell our 7s this – that the world would infinitely be a duller place without you in it. But you are human too and your feelings are as valid as everyone else around you. Reach out to a friend you know will journey with you through your pains. Learn to trust that they will not see your feelings as burdensome but a deeper insight to your inner world.

I would like to end this with a reflection point – are you aware of the unconscious messages that you would like to hear and are you addressing it?

I hope that you have found some solace in this series that has been put together for you. Remember, you are worthy to be loved the way you want to be love.


If you want to learn how to communicate to others your preferred way to be loved, do contact us to find out how you can join our next Enneagram Level 1 course. SkillsFuture credits can be used to further offset the course fees. We are looking forward to hearing from you!

Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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