What Each Enneagram Types Desperately Wants to Hear About Themselves (1/3) – Type 1, Type 8 and Type 9

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What Each Enneagram Types Desperately Wants to Hear About Themselves (1/3) – Type 1, Type 8 and Type 9

Every Enneagram Type has a specific message which their heart is desperate to hear. This is partly because as they were growing up, these were the messages that eluded them.

In this series, we are going to begin with the gut-centered Types 1, 8 and 9.

Type 1s

Message They Want To Hear:

“You are loved and are good enough even when you make mistakes.”

If a Type 1 holds themselves and others to high standards and are often critical when mistakes are made, chances are, they grew up believing that it was not okay to make mistakes.

That is why they are always trying to attain perfection, so that they can be models of perfection and reliability but we all know that it is not humanly possible.

So, I would like to invite the Type 1s to read the message. Breathe and let it sink it. Know that mistakes are a part of life and that you are worth to be loved even when you are do.

Type 8s

Message They Want To Hear:

“You can show your vulnerable side and still be strong and in charge.”

The Type 8’s belief that if they are emotional, that would make them unable to protect the people they care about. So, they learn that to prevent people in their inner circle from being hurt, they always have be the strong and decisive in any situation.

But I would like to tell our Type 8s that although using that hard outer shell to not share your vulnerabilities is tempting, finding the strength to share those emotions with the people you trust would allow them to feel valued as your friend, because you trusted them enough to reach out to them in the first place.

Type 9s

Message They Want To Hear:

“You deserve to be seen and heard.”

Type 9s often feel that they are invisible. However, they often do not realise that because they do not voice out their opinions and shy away from being seen, they make themselves invisible. The 9s who grow up thinking that not asserting themselves is the best way to keep the peace often place themselves to work quietly in the background.

However, I would like to tell our Type 9s that their voice and presence matters; and being assertive about their needs and opinions, allow the people around them to get to know them better as well. So step out of the shadows and allow yourselves to be seen and heard.

On that note, I leave you with this parting thought – Everyone wants to be seen and loved in their preferred way. So, let’s all be present for each other in our conversations and listen beyond the words being uttered to see the true need of that person.


If any of these messages have resonated with you and you want to know more about how the Enneagram can help you find yourself, contact us now to find out what the next available dates for our courses. You can also use your SkillsFuture credits to further offset your fees so why wait, get in touch with us now!

Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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