Here’s How You Push People Away, Based on Your Enneagram Type (Part 3 of 3)

Home / Love & Relationships / Here’s How You Push People Away, Based on Your Enneagram Type (Part 3 of 3)

Here’s How You Push People Away, Based on Your Enneagram Type (Part 3 of 3)

This is the last part of this series. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

Type 7 (The Enthusiast)

Open-minded and multi-talented Type 7’s experience a certain discomfort when talking about negative emotions. It might look like they are just in for the fun and excitement if they are unwilling to engage at the other side of the spectrum. At times, they may find it hard to empathise with others and may seem insensitive with their light-hearted comments (e.g., when you open up about breaking up with your partner, Sevens may say something along the lines of “Just move on! There’s a lot of fish in the sea.). Sevens’ extroversion may be seen as being too hungry for attention, which can be uncomfortable for people who prefer some serenity and privacy.

Sevens should allow themselves to be more vulnerable and open to talking about the “not-so-good” part of life, embrace pain and uncomfortable emotions – which is all part of the human experience. Realize that it is limiting to seek only the positive; when we journey with people during their highs and lows, we create an unforgettable experience and form the strongest of bonds.

Type 8 (The Challenger)

Powerful and bold Type 8’s have an everyday affair with anger, which may scare people away or make them feel uncomfortable. They can be extremely intimidating, and if they display their range at all times, this may destroy the relationships they have. They might be painted as someone who’s challenging to work and deal with, thus, increasing the odds of people avoiding them. Eights’ communication style is straightforward, and this could come across as being too confrontational for some people.

Eights should always gauge how much force is necessary for different situations. Appreciate other’s point of view and allow yourself to be more vulnerable. Realize that your strengths to protect will create a positive impact on people’s lives when you combine it with your gentleness.

Type 9 (The Peacemaker)

Easy-going and genuinely kind Type 9’s can be indirect in the way they talk. Nines tend to avoid difficult questions and may behave in a passive-aggressive manner– this could be frustrating to people, especially when you’re dealing with a time-critical situation. They also tend to sweep things under the carpet and may suddenly burst into anger when they can no longer handle it.

Nines have to learn to be assertive and direct in their communication. Genuine peace can only be obtained by handling problems and difficult situations head-on. Realize that we can never achieve peace in the outer world until we make peace within ourselves.


Sometimes we are not aware of our impact on others and that we may be pushing people away. Now is the best time to reflect on our past behaviours and actions as we wouldn’t want to push people away during this time of uncertainty. Having self-awareness and changing our behaviour is the key to having healthy relationships, which is essential to our overall well-being.


P.S. Join us on Facebook in our #CelebrateRelationships movement and get a chance to WIN a $50 NTUC VOUCHER.

Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
Recent Posts

Start typing and press Enter to search