CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #06 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – HOW TO MAKE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?

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CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #06 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – HOW TO MAKE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?

Dear Cindy,

I am currently in a long-distance relationship. We’re still on that honeymoon phase as they call it but

I’m worried when this all fades. How do I continue maintaining the relationship? I am having doubts

about continuing this relationship since it’ll be hard to meet up. What should I do?

 

Karl*

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Dear Karl,

I hear you, it’s not easy to maintain a long-distance relationship it requires a trust and a lot of effort in both parties in order to keep the relationship. But the good thing is, it’s not impossible to keep the spark alive even if there’s distance between the two of you. I’m going to first share some tips with you, and also share with you some serious points to consider should you decide to get serious with this relationship.

Technology is your best friend to stay connected with them. Schedule regular video calls to catch up with each other and talk about each other’s day but don’t be excessive. Live your life as you normally would but schedule a time that is purely dedicated to talking to your partner. You don’t need to communicate 12 hrs a day to keep the relationship going. Remember: Less is more. It’s about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots. Be more detailed and share photos when telling a story so she could visualise better.

You could also engage in activities together even when you’re apart like play video games together or watch Netflix or go online shopping together and buy each other gifts. Do similar things by reading the same books, watching the same shows, movies, or music so you can have more common things to talk about.

Take turns to visit each other or meet halfway. Visits are the highlight of every long-distance relationship.

Most importantly, do consider the following points before you decide if you should take the relationship further. As a relationship should always lead to a common goal, you both need to talk about your goals. Ask each other “How long are we going to be apart?” “What are your future plans?” At some point you will have to discuss when are you removing the distance out of the equation in your relationship. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals relationship-wise. With this you can be motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another. A holiday trip is never the best time to assess if someone is the right one for you. Thus, living together in the same city will be the best indication and talking about how to make this happen is extremely crucial.

After being physically together, living together, there will be another set of challenges which you both would have to face together. But till then, it will be the common values and goals that will get you both together. Thus, communication on these 2 main topics are very fundamental at this point.

I hope this was helpful and I wish you all the best in your relationship.

 

Much love,

Cindy

 


*Name(s) have been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.


 

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Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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