Ways To Bring Up Each Enneagram Type As A Child (3/3) – Type 1, Type 2 and Type 6

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Ways To Bring Up Each Enneagram Type As A Child (3/3) – Type 1, Type 2 and Type 6

We started this journey where I shared parenting tips for bringing up children who are Type 3, 7 and 8. Then, we continued on with Type 4, 5 and 9 children.

Let’s round this series off with tips on how to bring up children from the Compliant Triad – Type 1, Type 2 and Type 6.

Type 1 – The Perfectionist

The Type 1 child is highly organised, very compliant to the rules and regulations set out for them in school and at home, and love to put everything back in their rightful place after using them.

However, the Type 1 child often gets very frustrated when mistakes happen (either made by them or the people around them), have an impossible high standard for how things should be done, which leads them to be very rigid and inflexible in their thinking.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 1 Child

  • Bring them out for walks in nature to point out the various ‘imperfections’ they see in the shape of a tree, a hill or even a fallen leaf on the ground. With time, they will start to appreciate that beauty can be found in imperfections;
  • Be kind and compassionate when dealing with Type 1 children who cannot forgive themselves for making mistake. Have conversations about how mistakes are a necessary journey of learning and how they are not loved any less because of their mistakes;
  • Help them be more spontaneous and less reliant on what is in their schedule by asking them (on the day itself) what they would really like to do or go to AND do it with them.

Type 2 – The Helper

Type 2 children will be the first one to volunteer themselves whenever anyone asks if someone can help. They are very nurturing to the people around them and can often be seen going above and beyond themselves in order to support the people around them.

2s, however, often forget their own needs and have the inability to face rejection by people who do not need their help, which leads them to feelings of worthlessness and that they are not good enough to be loved for who they are.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 2 Child

  • Check in on them by asking them how they are feeling and if there is anything you can help them with. Remind your Type 2 children that you want to meet their needs because you love them and want to do something for them as well;
  • Tell them “I love you for who you are and not for the help you give me” to remind them that they do not need to give in order for them to be loved;
  • Allow the 2s to verbalise their processing and just sit with them. Be present enough to hear the needs they are addressing in the verbal processing and meet those needs.

Type 6 – The Loyalist

Type 6 children are good troubleshooters – they are able to plug up holes in processes with viable and practical solutions. They make very dependable friends and you can be sure that when the going gets tough, the 6 child will be fighting right beside you.

But the Type 6 child often doubt their own abilities and the fear of ‘what can go wrong’ will often lead them to become immobilised by their own internal fears.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 6 Child

  • When a Type 6 child brings up the worst case scenario in any situation, ask them what two positive outcomes can come out of that scenario. This will help them see beyond their doom and gloom mentality;
  • Be consistent in what you say and what you do at home. This will help the Type 6 child feel more secure and stable with you – their loved one and trustworthy ally;
  • When a Type 6 child tells you “I am not good enough to do this”, remind them of their significant past achievements, which will allow them to see that they have done it before and they can do it again. Teach them to have faith in themselves and their judgment.

As a parent, I am sure you all want the best for your children. Sometimes, the best gift you can give them is the gift of being aware of their unique ways of seeing the world, and supporting them to grow out of their weaknesses by growing in traits that will help them become the best version of their Types.

I hope this series has given you insights as to how your children would like to be supported at their core.

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Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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