Last week, I shared some parenting tips on how to bring up your Type 3, 7 and 8 children.

This week, let’s look at the Type 4, 5 and 9 children.

Type 4 – The Individualist

The Type 4 child often finds beauty in things that many might not pay attention to. Their emotional depth and vocabulary to express how they feel are apparent in even their younger years.

However, in a society which sees emotional depth as a weakness instead of a strength, the Type 4 child often finds themselves ridiculed for ‘feeling too much’ and being labelled as ‘emotional’. Add the ‘compare’ culture that exists between parents to the mix, a Type 4 child may then feel that they are not good enough and are never contented with ‘where they are’ and are always looking to the ‘what could have been’ to satisfy their hearts.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 4 Child

  • Encourage them to try different, creative ways to express their inner thoughts and emotions (e.g. through painting, writing, speech and drama etc);
  • Sit with them as they verbally process through their feelings, without jumping in to give a solution;
  • Guide them to see that they can push away their emotions to complete what is needed and expected of them (g. school work, tuition classes etc) first and then come back to processing their emotions after all has been completed.

Type 5 – The Observer

Type 5 children are often lost in their own private world and can be found sitting quietly processing their innermost thoughts.

However, people around these children may find themselves feeling rejected when they retreat into their rooms for solitude, or even reprimand them for being too reserved and ‘not like other children’.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 5 Child

  • Validate their need for space to process, recharge and reflect by asking ‘Do you need space to yourself?’ and invite them back to join the family at an agreed time (e.g. meal times);
  • Allow them to explore and research on their topics of interest. Spend time with them and engage them on why it is interesting to them;
  • Sit with them when they want to speak about their feelings and what is troubling them – they have processed what they have needed to on their own and are ready to open up to you. Be there for them.

Type 9 – The Peacemaker

Type 9 children can see perspectives of the people around them and you may often find them shying away whenever arguments happen. They are very happy to go with the flow and see where life takes them.

However, in a society that demands that everyone should have an opinion and should express their opinions no matter how unpopular it may be, Type 9 children find themselves in a dilemma as they do not want to say anything that may upset anyone. When that happens, they often clam up.

Ways To Bring Up A Type 9 Child

  • Provide a safe space for them to state their opinions. Do not pass judgemental remarks like, ‘You do not know what you are talking about because that is a sure-fire way to make them not want to give another opinion again in front of you;
  • Allow them to make simple decisions (e.g. what to wear for an outing, where to go for a meal etc) so that they are comfortable thinking for themselves;
  • Encourage them to break up a bigger task that is causing them stress into smaller, more manageable tasks so that it helps them realise that they can complete the task by taking it one step at a time.

Just as each one of us have a preferred treatment, so do our children. So why not teach them early on in life to state how they would like to be treated and allow them to grow up into more confident and self-assured adults in the future? I hope these tips help you grow a stronger bond with your child.

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