To recap, we have covered the heart-centered Types – Type 2s, Type 3s  and the Type 4s; as well as the head-centered Types – Type 5s, Type 6s and Type 7s.

Last week, we started our look at the head-centered Types with the focus on the Type 8s. We continue with the spotlight on our Type 9s this week.

Type 9s when dealing with sadness

Type 9s deal with their sadness through disassociation. They use this defense mechanism through cutting off the pain or in this case, sadness, by distancing themselves from it. They do so by narcotising themselves through acts that dim their senses and put them ‘to sleep’ through activities like reading, eating, watching television programmes, exercising, sleeping and the like.

The pitfall of using disassociation to numb the sadness is that there is a danger of the Type 9s losing their sense of self. This may hinder them from growing stronger in the face of adversity, emotionally painful situations and bouts of sadness.

This combined with their ‘others-focused’ nature may lead them to pay less attention to their feelings by distracting themselves on focusing on the ‘worthier’ needs of the people around them. This may then cause 9s to lose not only their core values, but also the inner direction and passion that is key to them remaining motivated in moving through the rivers of life.

 

What to say to a Type 9 dealing with sadness

  • “If you would like to be at your best when you are there for others, let us be here for you to process your sadness and take care of you now.”
  • “Let’s work on confronting this issue together. We can win this battle if we are by each other’s side.”
  • “You matter to us because you are our friend. Let’s work together to beat these challenging times!”

 

An Encouragement to our Type 9s

Your needs are as important as the people you focus on. Do not lose yourself by showing up for others. Show up for yourself as well. Taking care of your needs is not being selfish, it is essential because it gives you more energy to give to the people around you. You cannot give out of an empty tank so take care of your needs and sadness first.

For anyone with a Type 9 in your life, sit with them in their sadness. They don’t need anything else. Just your presence. In the stillness of that moment, let them know that there are also worthy to be loved and to be taken care of, in the same manner that they do for others.

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Would you like to find out how to get along with the different Enneagram Types? Contact us and find out how to do just that by joining us in our 2-day Level 1 courses! If you don’t already know this, you can also use your SkillsFuture Credits to offset your course fees, so call us today and we would be glad to assist you!