In life, there are always ups and downs. In this series, we will explore how each Enneagram deals with sadness in general and what we can say to them to help process it with them.

This week, we focus on the Type 2s.

Type 2s when dealing with sadness

The Type 2s tend to cope with their sadness through repression. This helps them to keep on moving in their lives by protecting their heart from dealing with the deeper sadness in their hearts.

2s often use repression to push unsavory feelings like sadness out of the way by focusing on the people around them. As they may not want to dwell on their sad-ness, 2s may turn to meeting the needs of the people around them to help turn their attention away from their own internal feelings.

The 2s inability to express their own sadness to other may come from their want of not being seen as ‘needy’ and from the belief that ‘most people don’t like people who express negative feelings’.

Even though 2s are emotionally sensitive, they have trouble with emotionality, which is the expression of their feelings to others. However, one way to spot a 2 who may be struggling with sadness would be if they suddenly break out of their repression and become very expressive in their emotions (this can be positive or negative expressions). For example, they can be excessively cheerful or excessively moody to overcompensate for the feelings of sadness residing in their hearts.

What to say to a Type 2 dealing with sadness

“We appreciate you for who you are and your feelings of sadness are valid. Let us be here for you”

“Thank you for being there for us. However, you look sad. Can you allow us to be there for you like you have been for us? We love you and we want to do this for you”

“Thank you for being you. We love you for who you are and we want to be here as you tell us about what is making you sad. Thank you for letting us help you in this way”

An Encouragement to our Type 2s

You are important for us to take care of you too. So, please allow people to help you process your sadness as you would for them. Do not feel ashamed for having these feelings of sadness, it does not change the way people see you. In fact, it helps people know you better.

This brings us to the end of our first article in this series. If you have any Type 2s who are struggling with sadness now, remember to be there for them and allow them to process their feelings with you. Do not give solutions, they appreciate it more that you are meeting their need to be seen and heard by listening to them and by being with them.
————-
Would you like to find out how the Enneagram can help meet your needs? Contact us to find out when our next course runs are and don’t forget to ask you can also use your SkillsFuture Credits to offset your course fees!