How can I connect with my Type 8 husband?

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How can I connect with my Type 8 husband?

“I have done my Enneagram Personality Profiling and I am a Type 6 (The Loyalist), How could I communicate better with my husband who is a type 8 (The Challenger)? He often gets impatient with me. Why is that so?”

Assuming the previous test results were accurate and true, here are some tips to connect better with your husband:

For Type 8s, they are usually direct and straight to the point. Thus, avoid communicating in circles. for users, you might find that explaining context is important. However, for Type 8s, the context is initially less crucial. They are more interested in the point. Thus, you should try to intrigue him with the point first before explaining the context.

Always question yourself: what is the main purpose of this conversation with him and the subject matter here? Articulate it in 1 sentence e.g. (I need you to help me solve “this”). Only after you have sparked his interest, you should then proceed with the context and other relevant issues. And yes, if you do not capture his attention within the first minute, most likely he would be impatient 🙂 Remember, KISS. Keep it Short and Sweet.


“I have been feeling that the people around me are too pragmatic, especially my husband, Why is that so? Is there something wrong with me?”

Often times, we do not have clarity of whether you are too idealistic or is he too pragmatic. It’s all relative. Sometimes it’s good to request a neural third-party to provide constructive feedback.

If most people are more pragmatic as compared to you, feel free to read up on Enneagram Type 4: the Idealist. You have an eye for beauty, you appreciate authentic expressions, but on the same token you desire drama in life and dislike the mundane and mediocrity in life.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just have to find your space to be in your element. Your greatest gift is your authenticity and eye for beauty. You may notice that you have an interest in creative things such as drama, music, poems, painting.

Do spend some time on creative hobbies that allows you to express yourself. You may also try keeping a personal journal, or start a blog on a topic that interest you.

Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
A Dating and Relationship Coach who has helped many youths and professionals in their journey through relationship searching and building. Cindy is a direct and energetic individual, who aims to bring out the best in everyone she meets. Her extensive coaching and dating experience has helped her coach men to find their social standing in the society. Cindy holds a Bachelor Degree in Psychology, majoring in Communications and has done many research studies in the area of Gender Communications, Cultural Communications, Jealousy and Mating Choices. Get in touch with Cindy via email at
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