CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #08 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – HOW DO I REIGNITE THE SPARK IN MY RELATIONSHIP?

Dear Cindy,

Me and my husband have been married for 4 years now, and sadly the romance part of our marriage is almost non-existent at this point. Now that we’re together 24/7 it’s been very boring. Could you give us some tips to spark romance during this time? Your advice would be much appreciated!

Thanks,

Val*

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Dear Val,

You’re not alone in this. I know it’s extra hard at this point, but hopefully, my date ideas will bring that romance back into your marriage. I am going to give you tips on an activity to do together, and a topic to talk about while attempting that activity. Remember, an activity will not bring depth, but it’s the conversations, openness and vulnerability shared during the activity that will bring connection and intimacy into the relationship.

Cook breakfast together. You don’t have to be an expert to create a simple breakfast. If one of you loves working in the kitchen, have that person take the lead while the other person acts as the assistant.

Conversation:

Then, eat together and reminisce about the old times. Talk about the happy memories you’ve had together — your wedding day, your dating stage, your trips together, etc. Any memories together that bring you joy.

A home improvement project. It could be as simple as cleaning, changing the look of one of the sections of your house, painting the walls or changing the wallpaper, clearing out storeroom and cupboards.

Conversation:

While doing this, talk about each other’s childhood homes and the memories. Is there a corner in your childhood homes that you cherish? What did you do there? Is there a favourite piece of furniture? Also, discuss how important it is to create good memories at home for your kids (if you have any).

Romantic spa night. Have a nice dinner, followed by a bath or shower together, and end off with a massage.

Conversation:

Talk about intimate things, recall the times you felt good about what your husband did and also the things that we’re not so good. This is to remind each other what you appreciate about one another and laugh about the mishaps.

Have fun and keep it light. I hope this helps and I’m rooting for you two!

Much love,

Cindy

*Name(s) have been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

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About the Author: Cindy Leong

Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.