In the coming weeks in this 3 part series, we will be looking at how we can support each Enneagram Type in ways that would resonate with them.

 

The motivation behind this series is simple – Each Enneagram Type have specific struggles and since we all agree that we all would like to be seen and heard by the people in our lives, why not see and hear each Enneagram Type in a way they prefer?

 

So to kick this series off, we thought we would begin with Type 7s, 8s and 9s.

 

Ready? Good. Let’s go!

 

Type 7s – How do I support them?

 

The ever happy Type 7s bring joy to the people in their lives with their natural optimism and ‘sunshine’ attitude. However, the seemingly ever joyful 7s heart hold many deep hurts. Hurts that they avoid at all costs because to feel pain is the most excruciating thing for them.

 

However, if we have Type 7s in our lives, who deem us close enough for them to open up to us about their deepest hurts, here is how we can support them:

 

  • Assure them that you are listening without judgement. This would allow them to know that you have created a safe space for them to let go of their hurts and open their hearts to you (and to the healing process);

 

  • Sit with them through their pain as they express themselves. Do not downplay their hurts even though they would usually say it as a joke, or say that it doesn’t hurt. The worst thing you could say to them would be, “Are you sure you are hurt? Come on, you seem okay, you will get through this just fine.”

 

  • Give them the space to talk out how they would like to move on. Refrain from giving them solutions. Ask short questions to them for self-reflection and draw conclusions before they reframe and move on (sometimes too quickly).

 

Type 8s – How do I support them?

 

Type 8s are called The Boss for a reason. As soon as they step into a room, their auras reek of authority and the innate strength that they naturally possess.

 

However, Type 8s normally do not think that they need help in any area of their life. “If I need help, I am weak” would be the psyche of a Type 8.

 

But there are times then that the Type 8s would allow themselves to be vulnerable enough with the people closest to them and ask for help, here is how you can support them:

 

  • Do not drop everything and jump to their rescue, as that would make them look weak. As they tend to live in denial of needing help, they may be blind to see that they are in fact in a dire state. Be bold to speak up and highlight how bad the situation truly is. Suggest a ‘self-help solution’ such as “If the situation doesn’t improve, you may want to try googling this …” Throw them a life buoy and let them help themselves.

 

  • Listen to what they need help for, then give them two to three solutions for them to choose. Type 8s are very big about being in control, so help them by letting choose the kind of help they would like from you;

 

  • A word of thanks would be a bonus. Do not expect it. Smile and walk away knowing that you have helped a Type 8 and that they appreciate it, even though they may not verbalise it.

 

 

Type 9s – How do I support them?

 

Everyone knows and finds it difficult to dislike a Type 9 with the nicest and most easygoing nature. However, it can be such a struggle for them to make a decision and sometimes they will take take the longest time to make one because they want everyone around them to be happy.

 

As easygoing as they are, they do get frustrated sometimes especially when being pushed, how then do we support them before their frustration boils over? Here is how:

 

  • Let them choose from a maximum of three choices. Limiting their choices will help in sharpening their focus and help them come to a decision in a quicker manner;

 

  • Allow them to make the decision. Do not, I repeat, do not make the decision for them. No one likes to have their opportunity to make a decision snatched from them – as easygoing as they are. Create that safe environment for them to say no by assuring them that even if they disagree with you or tell you things that yo may not want to hear, the relationship would still be intact. Also highlight to them the consequence of not making a stand. If they do not say no now, it may snowball into a bigger conflict if they say yes and underdeliver. Hence it makes it safer for them to say the ‘no’ that their hearts desire;

 

  • Show them how much you value their voice – regardless of whether you agree or disagree. This will help them to be more comfortable in voicing out their views even though it may turn out to be an unpopular opinion. Respect their decision and appreciate them for having the courage to share their inner most authentic views.

 

So there you have it – some practical ways to support the Type 7s, 8s and 9s in your life.

 

Everyone deserves to be respected and loved for who they are. That, ultimately, lies the true power of the Enneagram framework. It gives us the opportunity to love and appreciate people for their worldviews and who they are and not based on what we think should be done for them.

 

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Intrigued by how the Enneagram would help you become a better friend, partner and colleague to others? Contact us today to find out more. Furthermore, being able to claim your SkillsFuture credits for our course is a bonus any day any time. So don’t be shy, ask us how now!