How To Support The Enneagram Types in Your Life (3/3)

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How To Support The Enneagram Types in Your Life (3/3)

How the weeks go by! We are already in December and also in the last of this series where we explore how best to support the different Enneagram Types in your life.

We have given ways to help the Types 4s, 5s and 6s in your life in last week’s post and the Types 7s, 8s and 9s in the previous week.

We turn our focus on the Type 1s, 2s and 3s in your life. How best can we support them in a way that would allow them to be seen and heard by you?

Buckle up and let’s explore that together!

Type 1s – How do I support them?

The Type 1s are the disciplined, structured pillar of your life. In their ongoing search for ‘the’ right way, sometimes Type 1s cannot see beyond their own faults and descend into internally critiquing themselves. How can we help them from not being so tough on them and in the process help them see that imperfections in life can be beautiful as well?

Here are some ways:

  • Take them out for drinks. It is true that a nice tipple with good friends would do anyone good. But for a Type 1, it may come across as more of a reprieve from their endless search for wanting things to be orderly. If you sense that your Type 1 friend needs to ease some of the tensions from their very orderly and structured life, invite them out for a drink (or two) and help them unwind;
  • Bring them out for walks in nature. For these perfectionists at heart, bringing them out to walk amongst trees and mountains would be a great way for them to immerse in the beauty of imperfection that Mother Nature has to offer. Show the Type 1 that a mountain is beautiful in its own right as it stands firm and majestically in the horizon. Just like how they are for people in their lives, steady, firm and beautifully created.
  • Go on a ‘spontaneity’ outing with them. Type 1s need to learn how to let loose and let their hair down once in awhile. So maybe, if you are feeling confident enough, tell the Type 1 in your life that you will go out with them to do anything they want for that day and do it with them. Let them decide where to go and what to do and just go along for the ride!

Type 2s – How do I support them?

Type 2s often focus on helping the people around them and they do so wholeheartedly. But in that process,  they tend to forget their own needs (or even not see their own needs on purpose). This leads them to be burnt out and moody.

How then can we help the Type 2s in your life to not get to the stage of burn out?

Here are some ways:

  • Remind them to rest. Type 2s are very focused on the others for the others around them, so telling them to rest for themselves won’t ever register for them. So in order for you to remind them to rest, tell them this “Rest now so that you can help more people around you.” This will help them see the importance of taking a break to rest for themselves.
  • Help them see that focusing on their own work will also be of help to others. Sometimes the Type 2 in the office is so caught up in helping with other people’s projects, that they neglect the job that they have been hired for because they are on the brink of burn out. So before you head into why they should do their own jobs (and not everyone else’s), be sure to sincerely validate their helpfulness first, then give the feedback why it is important for them to also do their own jobs well. It may sound something like this, “Thank you for being so helpful to your colleagues but we would also know that if you did your job well, then you would also be helping more people in the company.”
  • Give them a sincere “Thank you” for the help they have given you. Type 2s are relational creatures and so when they help you, it is because they care for you as a colleague, a friend, a partner, a family member. So, saying a sincere ‘thank you’ would not only make their day but also allow them to feel that someone cares enough to take some time out of their day to even say ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ to them.

Type 3s – How do I support them?

Type 3s are often energized by work and when they lock onto a goal, you can be sure they would be putting their heart and soul in achieving those goals. How then can we get them to relax and recharge from their work intensive lives?

Here are some ways:

  • Schedule a day of relaxation for them (and you). As Type 3s often live their lives to a schedule, times of relaxation must also be put into that schedule. The Type 3s won’t ever fit in a day of relaxation, so you will have to be the one to take the lead on this. Tell them that you are going to schedule a day of relaxation for them (a day at a spa or a staycation etc) and do it. The Type 3s may not admit it at first but they would appreciate that someone cares enough to do that for them.
  • Celebrate their successes with them. Type 3s often forget their past achievements in the busyness of going on to the next one on their lists. But it is also important for these Type 3s to see how far they have come and that every achievement is worth celebrating. So bring them out for a nice dinner or a night at a bar where they can hang loose and just celebrate everything they have worked hard for.
  • Encourage them to become more of a human ‘being’ and less of a human ‘doing’. Type 3s are all about the ‘go go go!’ mentality and in the process, they forget to just be in the moment to smell the coffee. Schedule in a time for them to just be with friends and talk about anything else but work. This may take some practice for a Type 3 but in the long run, this will help them to slow down and see that life is not all about work. Remind them that they are loved for who they are and not just what they do.

So at the end of the day, all these suggested ways to help the different Enneagram Types in our lives is to love them in the way that validates them and allows them the experience of being seen and loved for who they are and not just what they do.

We hope that this series will help bring you and the different Enneagram Types in your life closer.


Ever wondered why you are the way you are? Why not contact us today to find out how the Enneagram can help you understand that. Plus, skillsFuture credits can be used to offset the cost, so what are you waiting for?!

Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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