CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #03 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – WE HAVE BEEN QUARRELING A LOT

Home / C.A.R.E. Series / CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #03 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – WE HAVE BEEN QUARRELING A LOT

CONSULT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT #03 (C.A.R.E. SERIES) – WE HAVE BEEN QUARRELING A LOT

Dear Cindy,

Lately, me and my wife have been quarrelling a lot. I found myself having a yelling competition with her and saying things I don’t mean. I know that my words have been hurtful and I certainly feel bad whenever this happens. It’s been extremely difficult for me to control my anger. Could you offer me some tips to be more patient? Please help me. Thank you!

Tom*

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Dear Tom,

I hear you. It is not easy to be patient at all times. I am happy to hear that you want to work on yourself and be more patient. I will share a few tips, and I hope you will apply this.

  1. Understand your spouse as a person, not as a “role”

You have to learn more about your spouse’s character, weaknesses, fears, dreams, aspirations, both the good and the bad. Knowing them in and out, you will be able to understand their strengths and flaws and become more naturally patient when dealing with them.  Remember that you chose to be with your spouse because you love them and not for what they can do for you.

  1. Manage expectations

No one is perfect, and your spouse is no exception. You need to accept them with a whole heart. Realise that they are also human and have limitations. What I can do doesn’t mean someone else can do it. On the same token, my partner can do things that I can’t. Expectation management is the key to all happiness in life. Unrealistic expectations will only give us more frustration and it doesn’t help the relationship.

I have recently written an article about this topic and you can read the rest of my tips here: https://relationshipstudio.sg/how-to-be-patient-with-your-spouse/

I hope this helps, and now, good luck in taking baby steps!

 

Much love,

Cindy

 


*Name(s) have been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.


 

IF YOU OR IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO’S GOING THROUGH THIS, DO BOOK A CONSULTATION SESSION AND SPEAK TO US!

 

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Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong
Cindy Leong is a sought after bilingual (English and Mandarin) Enneagram Personality Coach and Corporate Trainer in Asia, who can help you make sense of your professional and personal relationships. She is a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) and Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Besides a Bachelor Degree in Psychology (majoring in Communications), she also has a Diploma in Business and has done in-depth research and studies in the areas of Organisational Behaviour and Gender Communications, both in Singapore and Taiwan. Through her expertise in corporate executive coaching, personal development, and relationship coaching, she has helped many professionals in their walk through challenging times, particularly in the areas of identity searching, relationship building and career breakthrough. Aside from being a published author of 2 books, she has also been invited by several radio stations and magazines as an expert guest speaker to provide insights into Enneagram, workplace conflicts and relationships.
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